A holiday is a holiday, not a shoppertunity

Not too long ago, I went to a shopping center to visit a store I shop at regularly. On the way out, I saw this sign.

I had to read it twice, because I couldn’t believe it the first time.

Yes, that’s no typo – this store is going to be open on the Fourth of July from 9 a.m. to 10 p.m., more or less its normal operating hours. Which means that some of its employees are going to miss Fourth of July fireworks this year. Period.

Really? Is retail so desperate that it has to cater to the douche canoe* who just has to have that dream object at 9:30 p.m. on the Fourth of July?

You hope that whoever is working there is getting double time, at least. But they may not. (Double time pay is not a requirement for private businesses.)

Have you noticed that stores which used to be closed altogether on the Fourth of July (and other major holidays) are now open for business, often for most of the day? I remember when the stores were closed and neither we nor the economy suffered much. We just planned ahead and bought what we needed in advance because we knew that we couldn’t go shopping on the holiday.

Is it really that hard to plan ahead, people?

You really don’t want to be shopping on a holiday. Retail employees really don’t want to be working on a holiday. A holiday is just that – a holiday from the rigors of everyday life. Not another occasion to buy more stuff.

So let’s buy today and kick back tomorrow. Send retailers a message that staying open on the Fourth of July isn’t worth the trouble.

What is a summer after all without some lazy days?

* Yes, I know these are not nice words. But they are words that fit someone who thinks, “Goddammit, my dudebros guzzled up four thirty-packs of Coors, so I got to get some more before we sober up.”

Some Goody Ideas for the holidays

1. Go on a holiday light walk in a neighborhood that has lots of them. Bring a container of hot coffee or chocolate, wear good walking shoes, take your time and enjoy the electric art! (It’s one of the best nearly-free attractions around – well, nearly if you need to drive.)

2. Imagine you are a bird or a mouse living in a Christmas tree. Look way inside your tree, all the way to the trunk. Imagine living inside the trunk (or a little house in the tree), and then stepping outside and seeing all of the lights and decorations. Yes, that would be magical indeed. You might even buy or create a little house ornament (plus small animal occupants!)



Life inside of a Christmas tree, courtesy of Vons Supermarket

3. Even if it’s not a house, make a homemade ornament for your tree anyway. (Why should kids have all the fun?) Imagine the genuine pride you’ll feel when you look at your tree and see something that is uniquely yours.

4. Buy John Waters’s Christmas album. Come on, aren’t you tired of “Jingle Bells” already (and it’s not even a Christmas song; it’s a Thanksgiving song – look it up)? It’s time for some new carols – such as “Santa Claus is a Black Man” (c’mon, how do we know he isn’t?) and “Fatty Claus” (anyone who’s ever paid a post-holiday bill will raise a burning credit card in tribute).

5. What was your favorite toy as a child? I can name a few – Etch-A-Sketch, Spirofoil, a Fisher-Price “movie” camera, a Show’N Tell (record player with slide show) Why not safari for one online and give it to a special child in your life? Don’t think that all kids want the latest gimmicky gadget.



Show'N Tell from the 1960s

6. After that, why not give a little gift to yourself? My e-book “Goody Ideas" is only $5.00, and available for immediate download at my website. It will be a gift that will never grow old or stale.

Happy holidays, everyone!

It’s the season for giving – let’s do it well

Photo courtesy of Microsoft Clip Art

It never fails – in November and December, charitable appeals rev up like nothing else. Even though need has no season, a spirit of goodwill fills our Thanksgiving and Christmas hearts (and our Hanukkah, Eid, and Kwanzaa ones, too), and that same goodwill spikes our generosity.

Nothing wrong with that – but we have so many important needs in this world that it’s overwhelming to imagine them all. How can we give without melting into a puddle of despair? Here are some guidelines which I believe will help:

1. Remember, it’s a gift, not an obligation. The basic duty for human beings is to live as harmlessly as possible. If you are a hermit living quietly alone, you are already fulfilling your duty. Everything after that is gravy. You don’t have to give a penny to charity. Just like giving myself permission to eat a cookie gives me the power to say “no”, remembering that charity isn’t mandatory frees me from resentment and allows me to be more generous.

2. Don’t give to solicitors outside grocery stores, post offices, banks, malls, etc. I know it’s hard to say no to a living person smiling at you and asking you to help the homeless. I know it’s easy to pull a stray dollar from your wallet and push it into the slot on top of the wooden box such solicitors have in handy. The true way to help the homeless, or any other kind of need group, is to know where your money is going. Legitimate, rock-solid charities almost never solicit in public places. Many public solicitors are also associated with religious groups whose values you may not be completely okay with. (Question for churchgoers: Does your church ask you to sit on a chair in front of a grocery store and ask for money all day?) Keep your spare dollars in your wallet and save them for a charity you know and agree with.

3. Research before you give. How do you find out which charities are legit? The same way you find out which airfare is lowest or where to find an out-of-print book – research. The Huffington Post alerted me to the American Institute of Philanthropy (AIP), which recently posted a slide show on the nine worst charities. Of course, they will tell you about the good ones on their site. Charity Navigator is another great resource. Knowing that your donation will actually help the needy, and not fill the pockets of administrators, is a great feeling indeed.

4. Think small and/or local. Besides researching, another way to learn about a charity is to actually see it in action. Look up all of the charities in or near your hometown. A food bank is an especially good choice, because you will see how many people get help as they pick up food. I tend to trust small charities more, too, because they don’t spend money on expenditures like, say, TV commercials. Small charities also fulfill needs that are not immediately obvious. One good one that I’ve heard of recently is Guitars for Vets , which gives guitars and music lessons to veterans. (Two Dogs likes this, too!)

5. Give to organizations you really care about, not the ones you think you should care about. If you think that your local opera company is worth paying for, or if you love a tiny Internet radio station that plays songs you haven’t heard since age thirteen, that’s where your money should go. Some people insist that feeding people, preventing disease, and/or protecting the environment must come first – of course, those are all vital. But creative expression, both ours and others’, make this a world worth saving.

6. Pick a charity per month. Given that there are so many avenues of need, it’s hard to pick just one – or even a handful. To make it easier, concentrate your giving on one cause each month. For example, give to people who make blankets for the homeless in January, the American Heart Association in February, the March of Dimes in March (can’t help it, it’s too fun to be seasonal).

7. Give to organizations that aim to solve problems. You know the old saying, “Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.” Of course, if a man is starving, you’ll need to give him a fish now so he will be ready to learn to fish later. But I agree with the basic premise. Giving people food and blankets day after day and year after year does not address the need of jobs (for those who are employable) or affordable housing. I like charities whose goal is having their helpees not need it in the end.

8. Put the “fun” in fundraising. Writing a check and putting it in the mail or donating via PayPal are relatively dull activities. Why not make fundraising sparkle? Last year, I suggested that the people in my Sun magazine group get together at a local vegetarian restaurant (some of the group is veggie), and bring $20 each to donate to the magazine. (The Sun doesn’t accept advertising, just high-quality writing and photography. In this country, this means it struggles financially). If you dining room is big enough, why not host a similar fundraising dinner with your friends? Good people, good food, good talk, good cause – good times!

9. There’s no such thing as a totally selfish purchase. Sometimes I have blushed with shame when I buy a book or go to a restaurant. That money should have gone to charity! my guilty voice screams. Then I remember that I am not the only one who benefits. When I buy a book, I support the career of a hard-working author who brings great ideas to life on the page. When you download music, you help keep a roof over your favorite artist’s head. Even when you buy a laptop or big-screen TV at Best Buy, you preserve the employment of the people on the floor and behind the cash register. Spending keeps money flowing and helps others not need charity. That money flow will come back to you when you create things that people buy – and yes, that applies to Excel spreadsheets that your employer pays you $X per hour to create.

With that in mind, let’s make this season great for our communities, our nation, and our world!

What’s with all the hate towards Kwanzaa?

Graphic courtesy of Microsoft Clip Art

It's a holiday mystery right up there with "What's wrong with the doll on the Island of Misfit Toys?", "How does Santa deliver toys to homes with no chimneys?", and "Would anyone even like the song 'Jingle Bells' if it wasn't associated with Christmas?" (FYI, "Jingle Bells" is a Thanksgiving song, people. It would be nice if I didn't hear it after the turkey has been digested.)

What is this unfathomable question I'm thinking of?

"Why do people hate on Kwanzaa?"

Turn on any AM talk station at this time of year, and sooner or later you’re going to hear somebody say, “Well, Kwanzaa’s not a real holiday.”

Real to whom? If even one person celebrates it, that makes the holiday real as far as I am concerned.

You might also hear this: “Oh, Kwanzaa is just a made-up holiday.”

All holidays are made-up, even those that are centuries old. We do not have an instinct to celebrate ritualized holidays. As proof, read this New York Times story about people who have stopped celebrating Christmas.

What is it about Kwanzaa that pisses people off?

First, let’s take a closer look at the holiday itself. According to Wikipedia, “Kwanzaa is a week-long holiday celebrated in the United States honoring African heritage and culture, marked by participants lighting a kinara (candle holder). It is observed from December 26 to January 1 each year, primarily in the United States. Kwanzaa consists of seven days of celebration, featuring activities such as candle-lighting and pouring of libations, and culminating in a feast and gift giving. It was created by Ron Karenga and was first celebrated from December 26, 1966, to January 1, 1967.”

Each of the seven days of Kwanzaa represents a principle: Umoja (Unity), Kujichagulia (Self-Determination), Ujima (Collective Work and Responsibility), Ujamaa (Cooperative Economics), Nia (Purpose), Kuumba (Creativity), and Imani (Faith).

Now, what could possibly be wrong with those values? I thought about it, and here’s my take:

1. Some people don’t like Ujima and Ujamaa. Collective? Cooperative? Sounds a bit too much like (duh duh duhhhhh) socialism!

2. Some people think that Kwanzaa is in competition with good old-fashioned ‘Merican Christmas. Who knows, people might celebrate this mumbo-jumbo instead of turning to Christ, as they oughta! (FYI, according to the official Kwanzaa website, this is not so: "Kwanzaa was not created to give people an alternative to their own religion or religious holiday. And it is not an alternative to people's religion or faith but a common ground of African culture...Kwanzaa is not a reaction or substitute for anything.” Those who bitch about Kwanzaa are also more likely to bitch about the “War on Christmas.” Think about your last visit to a mall or big-box store. Does it look like Christmas is losing this “war”? (But’s that’s another post for another day, probably in 2010.)

3. Some people don’t like it when black folks do something for themselves without asking for white folks’ approval. Yes, that's right. Even in 2009.

It is easy to dismiss Kwanzaa-bashing as just more noise from the conservative whine machine. But it’s not so easy to dismiss the 1971 conviction of the creator of Kwanzaa, Ron Karenga, for beating and torturing two female members of United Slaves, a militant cultural organization which rivaled the Black Panthers. The women were ordered to strip, and then were whipped with an electrical cord and karate baton. One had a hot soldering iron placed in her mouth, the other had one of her big toes placed in a vise. Disgusting stuff. Karenga spent four years in prison for his participation in this crime. No matter how culturally righteous you may be, there’s no justification for this.

Still, Karenga’s crimes do not erase or negate the values of Kwanzaa. It’s just like knowing the difference between the words of the man known to most of the world as Jesus Christ and the horrific acts of those who acted in his name throughout the centuries.

If I had the choice to erase from the earth either Christmas or Kwanzaa, I would erase Christmas. It’s a holiday of a single religion, and one of those repressive paternalistic ones to boot. It’s a holiday that’s a servant of consumerism, and no pious TV special about the “true meaning” of Christmas will ever change that. Its “true meaning” becomes doubly false when we learn that we don’t really know the day that the man we call Jesus Christ was born.

Far better to ponder unity, self-determination, collective work and responsibility, cooperative economics, purpose, creativity, and faith than mythical red-suited gift-givers, reindeers with shiny red noses, and dreadful songs played over and over again.

So let the Kwanzaa corn stand alongside the Christmas cookies and the Hanukkah chocolate coins as holiday treats, and instead of wasting a kilowatt of energy in complaining, acknowledge that it's a big world, not a small one, after all, and it can contain multitudes of holidays.