Saturday, September 7, 2013

It's been a strange summer

If you’re a regular reader of this blog, you can tell that my posting quota has gone out the window this summer. From January to May, I have been posting four to five times per month. That has not been true for June, July, and August (September’s final total, of course, is yet to be seen).

What is going on? Why did I write proudly about a quota that I eventually failed to follow?

How do other bloggers explain lack of posting?

“I’ve been too busy.” Not in my case.

“I’ve been hired to do an important project.” I wish.

“I haven’t been motivated.” That sounds like a lame excuse...but it is close to the truth.

I have not been doing many of my usual activities this summer, not only the work-related ones (looking for new projects and clients, blogging), but the things I enjoy (reading, walking, meandering).

What is wrong with me?

I think my thoughts may be the root of the problem.

Instead of pondering a multitude of ideas, I have been thinking of one subject 90% of the time. Perhaps 95%. Or even more.

It is not a happy subject to think about.

It is not a dream I can realistically attain.

It is not a story which is likely to have a happy ending.

It is something I miss, even though I have never actually encountered it in the first place.

Or have known in any meaningful way.

You may be asking, why am I wasting my time with this subject?

My answer is, am I really?

I have written over 25,000 words of (completed) fiction about this subject. That is more than half the minimum needed for a novel (40,000).

I wonder if I can turn this idea into an actual novel that can be sent out into the world...before I lose interest in this subject completely.

That is up to me, of course.

This summer, I have been as tightly closed as the flower in the photo above.

I think it’s high time I opened up again.

Don’t you?