Taste takes time

(Originally posted at OC Tastemakers on April 17, 2013.)

The Tastemaker has had Alexandra Stoddard in mind recently. I have read almost all of her books so far (and am eager to read her latest, The Shared Wisdom of Mothers and Daughters). I read Living Beautifully Together this week, and this paragraph spoke to me:

Think of your nurturing time as recess. Teachers have a snack. Soldiers marching get ten-minute breaks every hour so they can march farther. Union workers have coffee breaks. Ministers take time out to meditate, and go on retreats for renewal. You and I need a few regular breaks, too. Take them. Disappear and have a nap or a massage or a walk alone. Learn to feel comfortable with yourself when you escape. Alone, you find your center and feel better not only about yourself but everything else. You need time to think things through and listen to your own voice, because everyone else has something else in mind for you. You can’t react to others’ idea of who and what you are; you have to be authentically you.

Ms. Stoddard is a steadfast proponent of leisure time. Whether it take the form of a two-week vacation in Europe or a quiet half-hour to yourself in bed, taking time for being – not doing – is essential for the good life.

Before starting her own interior design firm, Ms. Stoddard worked for Eleanor McMillen Brown, one of the premier interior designers of the mid-twentieth century. One of Mrs. Brown’s non-negotiable rules was that business shut down at 5:30 in the afternoon. No exceptions. Ms. Stoddard herself once got locked in the office building for working overtime and needed to call the locksmith to get out.

I don’t think that Ms. Stoddard would have been able to grant her special wisdom to her readers – teaching us about taste and beauty and kindness and yes, leisure – if she had been trapped in the office for 80 (or more) hours a week.

What kind of job does not allow you to make significant progress in no more than eight hours a day, 40 per week?

I do love writing and designing, but I cannot do it for cruelly long periods of time. I would burn out. I would lose the care and concern for craft that I need to do my best.

Being tasteful means having not only the means to explore the beauty of the world, but the time as well. An afternoon tea in the garden, complete with dainty sandwiches (and, perhaps, petits-fours from Surfas) can do more for your creativity than a canned “motivational” meeting under fluorescent lights, fueled with fast food.

“Nothing excellent can be done without leisure.” – André Gide

If spring cleaning is getting you down...

If in the past you found no satisfaction in emptying the garbage, transcend the garbage pail, rise above it. Look at the rubbish with a new attitude. This is our domestic waste; by collecting it and getting rid of it, we create a fresh beginning. – Alexandra Stoddard, from her book Feeling at Home

Look for inspiration, not mere information

Alexandra Stoddard , one of my most-trusted wisdom brokers, wrote this in her book You Are Your Choices (Chapter 5, “Information Is Not Inspiration”):

“One hundred years ago no one could imagine the flood of information that would be available today. You could drown in it if you’re not careful. The Information Age first dawned in the 1970s. An abundant amount of publications were available, along with manipulation of information. Through the use of computers and the Internet, we can learn about anything we choose to know. We can collect facts and data in an endless stream. The Internet is limitless; it is overwhelming. . . .

Bob O’Brien, a prize-winning journalist and writer, advised me when I first began to write not to read the newspaper before I began my work. The human mind has limits to how much it can absorb. We can know everything, but not know anything about how to live. We have to be careful not to clog our minds with bad news that cannot inspire.”

The Huffington Post is at the top of my news bookmarks. I pay a visit nearly every day. But recently, I do not stay as long as I used to, mainly because (with few exceptions) it is filled with “bad news that cannot inspire”, celebrity “news” that cannot inform, and trivia that does nothing but take time away from the inspiration that I really need. I still admire Arianna Huffington for her political courage and good works, but I must be honest about the site. I do not leave the Huffington Post feeling better about myself and my world.

Sometimes mere information is helpful – such as knowing if the library is open on Sunday, or mapping out the location of a coffee shop that you’ve wanted to try. Other times it is not helpful, or even worse – when you turn on your local news to learn about the weather, you hear about a murder case that darkens the rest of your day.

The answer may be to ask yourself, before you open a web link:

Is this something I really need to know?

Will I be more inspired, more energized, more hopeful after reading this?

Is this the best use of my precious time?

Don’t get tangled in the briar patch of information – reach for the sweet, healthy fruit of inspiration.