This TIME cover is sooooooo funny...

...that I forgot to laugh.

Seriously, people, you’ve got to quit with the Chris Christie fat jokes already. It’s not fair, it’s not cool, and it’s not progressive. Oh, and it’s not funny, either.

Why do people who wouldn’t think of ridiculing the size of someone’s nose – or worse, the color of someone’s skin – think it’s okey-dokey to mine laughter out of the shape of someone’s body?

“That’s different,” I hear someone saying. “People can lose the weight. And they should, because it’s just unhealthy.”

I call bullshit, Hypothetical Heckler. Those who publicly scold the overweight are often suspiciously silent about other known health hazards, like smoking and taking too many prescription drugs. You cannot judge a person’s diet on appearance alone – some junk food junkies are as thin as rails. And some live lives of gastronomic asceticism in exchange for modest weight loss.

Photo credit: Tumblr

Even if an overweight person can lose weight, he or she is not obligated to do so in order to make you happy. Other people’s weight is not your goddamn business. Believe me, you have too much crap going on in your life to take care of.

One more question (I’m talking to you, Bill Maher): Would you be telling Chris Christie fat jokes if Chris Christie was a black female Democratic governor?



(Probably not. But other people would.)