What do you remember when you remember the television of your youth?
Do you remember the astounding stupidity of Lost in Space’s Dr. Smith (which makes you ask 1. What hellhole of a university gave this asshat a doctorate, and 2. Why, oh why did he survive so long – you can’t be stupid in space, people!) Or is it the seamless cool of the Fonz, a cool that makes even vending machines obey? Or is it Pee-Wee’s happy household of talking, singing thingamajigs? (You wouldn’t fart in a talking chair, would you?)
Or is it the heavy, hairy hand that brings down this hammer?
The logos which are the closing punctuation of TV shows can have lasting effects on our memories – for better or for worse.
Type in the words “scary TV logos” in the YouTube search engine, and you’ll be amazed at what you’ll find. You’ll also see that “scary” is highly subjective.
I grew up in the pre-home video era, so I guess it’s hard for me to see the fright in this logo:
It’s only a mouse, after all. (And he's not even meandering!)
The following two logos are more annoying than scary. This one concluded cheesy 1970s sitcoms:
And this one ended cheesy syndicated 1980s sitcoms:
This one is nicknamed “Closet Killer”, and when you hear it you will understand why:
That’s the sound an orchestra would make if a killer jumped out of your closet. Ironically, this often ended the supposedly family-friendly Brady Bunch.
This one from across the pond is spooky:
This one from NTA (National Telefilm Associates) is not too scary on its face, but it gave me goosebumps because it often kicked off some eerie sci-fi movie on Pittsburgh TV’s Chiller Theater.
I don’t remember any television logos that really scared me in childhood, but I found one on YouTube that scares me now at age 46. I would not want to watch this alone at two in the morning:
BИD (VID in English) is the undisputed king of all scary logos. I am exceedingly grateful that I didn’t grow up in Russia!
P.S. Are you reading this blog at two in the morning? If so…I hope you’re not alone! (And don’t watch BИD twice!)